Stoop & Kin

Ring the three people who already know every parcel in the county

Look wider — The cheap land is not on the big listing sites, and that is not an accident.

The well driller, the septic installer and the county assessor know which land is good, which is trouble, and what is about to come up for sale. All three will talk to you for free.

There is a small group of people in every rural county who have been onto almost every parcel in it and who know exactly what is wrong with each one. They are not estate agents. They are the trades whose work depends on what is under the ground, and the officials whose job is to write it down.

They are also, as a rule, happy to talk. A phone call that opens with "I am thinking about buying land in the county and I would rather ask somebody who knows than find out later" gets a remarkable amount of honesty, because you are asking them about their expertise rather than asking them for a favour.

What to actually do

  • Call two well drillers. Ask what they typically hit in that township, how often they come up dry, and what they would charge. You get a depth estimate and a cost estimate and an opinion on the area, in one call.
  • Call a septic installer. Ask which parts of the county perc badly. They will tell you, by road name, and it is the most valuable twenty minutes in this whole process.
  • Visit the assessor's office in person. Ask to be shown how to use the parcel viewer. You will leave knowing ownership, acreage, assessed value, sale history, and which parcels are owned by somebody with an out-of-state address -- which is a list of people who may not want their land.
  • Ask the rural mail carrier, if you meet one, which places sit empty. They know.

Words to use

I am looking at buying a few acres in the county, and I would rather ask somebody who actually works out here than guess from a listing. Can I ask you two quick questions about what the ground is like around [road name]?

Knowing you should ask and knowing how to ask are different kinds of knowledge, and only one of them is common.

The county research checklist

One email. The twelve things to check on a rural parcel before you make an offer, in the order that costs least to find out — and the four that should stop a purchase outright. Then we leave you alone until there is something genuinely worth sending.

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